The Things You Can Choose In Life

I don’t know about you but, I am tired of feeling like there are more things I can’t do than I can do. We spend our childhood listening to our parents, teachers, and public figures harping on about the things we cannot do when all I really yearned to hear was… what we can do?

I think one of the most liberating feelings in the world is taking control of your life and building a future that makes you happy and proud. However, it is much easier said than done, especially now when the world appears to be at breaking point and the economy has halted. A consequence of a declining economy is a decline in professional development and employment, I for one have felt the impact of the world today. Finding a job is about as fruitless as convincing Donald Trump of Climate Change. Imagine trying to build a better life for yourself but the world is telling you no and your bank account is about as prosperous as a third world country. It can be super disheartening to have your goals and ambitions stalled and it is not easy to persevere. I can only stress the importance of never giving up on what you value the most. If your want is stronger than your limitations, your path to your own success will be easier compared to those who don’t feel the want of something.

It is hard to be surrounded by amazing people with astonishing goals and watch the world tell them no or put a million obstacles in their way. This is everyday life. However, we now need to take into consideration a pandemic that has introduced even more limitations to our goals. It is not easy to stay motivated when there are more people struggling and less opportunity to be had. I speak from my heart when I tell you that even though it is hard right now, it won’t be like this forever and it will be the things you did during this time that will best prepare you for a brighter future. If you sleep on your dreams, waste your time, and waste your money… when the world stops spinning, what are you going to do when it kick starts and spins faster than ever?

There are things we can choose in life that will contribute to the foundations of our future. We place so much value on material things that we forget the most crucial thing, community. The world community is used loosely here because I am referring not just to the people who live near you, but those people who you choose to be in your life. I have witnessed bad communities before and have seen how a group of people can be their own limitations to their future. For example, imagine person A wants to be a writer and they live in a small community of people where friends, family, and colleagues are limited. Does person A choose to have no friends and feel lonely but at the same time wait for the right community to enter their life whilst working on becoming a writer or does person A choose the friends in their environment and conform to a life they think they should be living but accumulate more limitations and insecurities than they ever had and lose sight of their goal as a writer?

In today’s society people are more apt to go for the latter option because the feeling of being alone in a world full of image and expectation is more unbearable than never fulfilling their potential. When your community is bad, your mental health will suffer and so will your future. Who will push you if you cannot push yourself? We live in a society where it takes more courage to do what you want than it does to follow a crowd. If you have a goal to be successful you need to know how to get yourself there. You may not be able to choose where exactly you end up,but you can choose the journey and who gets to go with you. Exploit this freedom you have to build your network, make sure that the people in your life care about you and your goals. Think to yourself, if I didn’t do what these people are doing today would they judge me? would I feel like I am missing out? Would they even care? Would they be opening to trying something that I want to do? If you suspect the answer is no to all of these questions, I can sit here confidently and tell you for certain that you are not in good company.

When I moved to London last October, I really struggled with my community building because being new to an area is difficult. My friends are ambitious angels and push me to do better each day and support me unconditionally on the days I cannot push myself. I just wished they didn’t live hours away. I was now faced with the choice I presented a few paragraphs up, Do I hang out with the people around me even though I do not like them very much or do I feel lonely for a whole and wait for good company? I chose the second option. Even though there were people in the area that I live in that I could’ve hung out with, I chose not to, even on my loneliest day, because I knew we weren’t compatible as friends and were too different to ever get on. I mean, I could’ve faked it but I would only have been hurting myself.

After some time of having no one but my boyfriend to hang out with in my area, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I exploited my freedom to choose. I downloaded BumbleFriends and started swiping to find other girls that had similar interests to be and lived close by. I have told people about this and they have looked down upon it as desperate and what not. But to me, it is brave and the same as using apps for dating. I have since met a great girl who I enjoy spending my time with and choose her company over the several people that live close by to me. The reason I am sharing this is to prove that you do not need to settle, you need to be brave and to accept that your life in your control. I know it is scary to do this because once you acknowledge that it is in your hands, you have a responsibility to do something about it, it means you cannot be lazy.

Build your community wisely and watch how good company results in a better life. Watch how you can contribute to someone else’s success as they contribute to yours. Do not fall victim to circumstance and follow the crowd, do what is best for you and only you. Be brave to try something new and to say no to easy and familiarity. Be daring.